On: feeling both held and destroyed

unlearning a sense of home, and finding comfort in the search for one

Paula Rego, The Dancer

I once heard from somewhere that if you want to know how well you’re doing spiritually — go visit your parent’s home for 1 week.

I didn’t do exactly that - but, my mother came to visit me in a city I’ve been living in for the past years. I love my mother, I do, and I also feel the deepest pain inside my chest when I see her. In her …